David Terry’s Bloomsbury Surprise: A Story Through Different Genres (4/4)

This is an example of a recipe.

This is the fourth and final part of my four part series “A Story Through Different Genres.” If you like the story and/or concept please let me know and I will either continue this story or make “A Story Through Different Genres” a new part of my blog; probably its own category with different stories. I hope you enjoy.

David Terry’s Bloomsbury Surprise

This masterful, yet simple dessert is perfect for a day at the park or a homemade anniversary present. It’s so good, why not have it for both? No matter who you are, everyone can agree that this sinful delight is thought-provoking.

Nutritional information: Energy: -582kcals. Tears: 328g. Horror: 1,476g.

Makes: 1 surprise (each serving thousands of people)


A well frequented area; Bloomsbury Park is recommended

6 ½ foot tree with lots of bright green branches (if possible)

10-15 stone person. This can be anyone, for best results use a young, pretty female. However, you may use anyone; Terry’s first foray was with a middle-aged, dark skinned man in a black, long-sleeved shirt with a gentleman’s hat. This is an easier thing to find and will be perfect if you are trying for authenticity.

3g aconite

11 in. knife, extremely sharp

To Serve

10 oz. package of cigarette butts

1 full lighter

9g silk jacket (optional)

1 Child + a cup of ruined innocence (optional)


Before starting check that your knife is sharp enough to easily slide through flesh, muscle, and bone.

1. Situate person in well-frequented area. You can either find someone already present or lure them there. Be sure to place them under the 6 ½ foot tree.

2. Pour 3g aconite down throat to incapacitate.

3. Quickly take 11-inch knife and stab person three times in quick succession. The first two should be shallow, the third deeper, serving as the death blow.

4. Lay the body on its back then cut mouth open from ear to ear. This should be done within enough time for blood to still be flowing.

5. Proceed to stab body another 24 times.

6. Place 9g silk jacket under body while placing it sideways, facing away from the audience.

7. Empty 10 oz. package of cigarette butts around the well frequented area of your choosing. Leave a few within two feet of your masterpiece.

8. To finish move 3g aconite container, full lighter, and empty 10 oz. cigarette container next to head. If a gentleman’s hat is involved, be sure to place it snuggly, but precariously-looking on head.

9. If you like, take a child, place it in front of your handiwork, and douse with ruined innocence.

Simple, easy, and a marvelous sight. Enjoy!

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