I will not lie and say that I am always calm and level headed when it comes to potential life or death situations like the pandemic which is infecting a fast growing number of the population and can kill anyone, including the young and healthy, as the recent analysis of Italy’s death numbers show, but I am getting off topic. This won’t have a bunch of info on what to do with the Coronavirus, but I will include a few links at the end. In all honesty, when something is going on in the world that I don’t like, that I’m afraid of, I try to ignore it, but inevitably find way more information on it than normal people. That is partly because of my own fear driven need for knowledge and partly because of my family, specifically my mom, who is constantly checking Republican, Democratic, UK, School, and CDC news sites. This means that I know what people should be doing, know what the US government has actually been doing versus what they have claimed, and how idiotic some people are.
Stupid And Uncaring People
I am so annoyed and genuinely disgusted with the people who still aren’t taking this seriously. It is one thing to make jokes about toilet paper or spots to vacation in your home. Those can be quite funny. I saw a post on Facebook today of a 1.9K apartment run that even had ‘sponsors.’ It was quite cute. What I can’t stand are the poeple who are still going out, still seeing each other and partying and not caring if they get sick because ‘fuck it, I’m young and it won’t kill me.’ People are at the beach, in large groups, thinking that the air and sand will keep them safe, that shit won’t transfer. In actuality, the younger population can get sick, look at Italy, and more importantly they can spread it to their friends, to their family, and anyone they come in contact with.
The way germs and this virus work is that you cough or touch on something while you are sick, the virus will take 24-48 hours, depending on what it is, to become non-infectious again. You aren’t just risking yourself here. You are risking the elderly, the immunocompromised, anyone taking Ibuprofen because that weakens your immune system, and children, like the poor four year old girl who got COVID-19. The last day I was in school everyone in one of my classes was making fun of what was going on, not worrying or caring or giving a damn. One kid even said, “I’m not worried about Corona, if I get sick and die, it caught me on an off day.” Everyone laughed at it every time he said it the last few weeks and in that class when I brought up the fact that you could be putting others, putting your family, in danger if you get sick, they didn’t give a single shit.
THE BEACH IS NOT SAFE. NO GROUP IS SAFE. YOU SHOULD NOT BE GOING OUT IF YOU ARE SICK. YOU SHOULD PAY ATTENTION TO THE RESTRICTIONS, GUIDELINES, AND SUGGESTIONS FROM THE GOVERNMENT AND MOST IMPORTANTLY: THE CDC. YOU SHOULD CARE.
Some Government Ideas and Actions/Lack of Action
I will be honest, I am not a fan of our president or most of the people in power right now. I will also admit that since Trump has admitted to COVID-19 actually being a real threat (despite pretending the video evidence of his disregard is ‘fake news’), he has made some good changes. I do not watch them, preferring to get the headlines from my mother and articles, but the daily press conferences, task force, and enactments (The Defense Production Act) are very helpful. However, Trump is still spouting incorrect facts, backtracking on things he has said, not counting infection numbers against himself (like any that came off one of the Princess cruises), taking glory for others’ ideas, and caring more about money and business than the America people.
Almost every time the President has made an announcement about the virus and/or the restrictions and changes being put in place, the White House, State Department, or CDC has had to correct at least part of it afterwards. With these comments and others (when he enacted the DPA, how much he specifically has been doing to help the American people, and how he was in denial) have been constantly back-tracked, lied about, and pushed under a blanket. For the longest time he was making many people believe that there was no real threat and less than a few hundred cases in the US because people weren’t being tested. Despite what was being said, until recently, you could only get tested for COVID-19 if you were an acute case and/or over 65 and answered yes to two of the following: they had the symptoms, had been out of the country recently, and had been in close contact with someone who had tested positive. However, many people that have the symptoms don’t know who they would have come into contact with who had been infected and if that person had been tested at all and thus can’t get tested themselves. Even now, most people are being turned away, either from testing or care unless over 65, with symptoms, and/or in critical conditions because we still don’t have enough tests. One of the reasons we keep seeing our numbers shoot up now that more people are being tested (despite them still being about 5 days behind on tests) because they were all already sick. The closures, curfews, restrictions, shelter-in-place laws, and Production Act should have been put in place at minimum two weeks ago.
That brings me to my final few issues: the president is taking credit for finally taking the virus seriously with closures, the Production Act, state of emergency, etc, and he’s caring more about businesses. The Defense Production Act is a perfect example of this. Our hospitals need masks and respirators and instead of immediately taking over factories to make them, it is two days later and the companies are volunteering so they can negotiate with the government. This is slowing down the process of getting these things made and driving up the government bill for it all by letting the companies be the ones to reach out and set the terms. The reasons for this: Big Business played a big part in getting Trump elected. This is the same business trying to convince the government to give them money instead of the people, trusting them to pay people despite places like Marriott who, instead of laying of their employees, put them to zero hours so the people couldn’t get unemployment, but the business could get more money from the government because of all the ‘employees’ they have. And on that note, the bill which will hopefully give every adult American around $1,200 in about two weeks for food and bills, was originally Andrew Yang’s idea, which was picked up by Mitt Romney, but will be taken full credit of by Trump.
Oh, and in general I LIKE Marriott. They are my favorite hotels to stay in when my family travels. I have no problem with honest big business. I do not boycott anyone. I am not an activist. I DO HAVE A PROBLEM WHEN HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE ARE BEING SCREWED OUT OF MONEY THEY NEED TO LIVE WHILE WORRYING ABOUT GETTING SICK AND BEING TRAPPED IN THEIR HOMES.
My personal issues with the world (COVID-19, the government, the economy, school, everything) have multiple parts to them like everything else. What I will start by saying, despite it not being the most important, but something idiotic that everyone, including myself has fallen into, is that I am terrified of running out of toilet paper. That will not be a pleasant time and I am worried enough about everything else for it to be ridiculous to have to worry about using the restroom, seriously. Really though, I am scared of getting sick, of my family getting sick, of any one of us, including my two grandparents that I live with, possibly dying. I am terrified of getting through the next few months as everything closes and people, including my work-study and my family because they work in Real Estate and no one wants to show houses or go out looking, don’t have any income. I am worried about what will happen to our economy as a whole when this is all said and done. The US will not recover overnight and it will most likely take years to undo the damage we will make just to survive.
I am worried that by the end of this I will be heartbroken and spent and devastated because of my family, deaths, job opportunities, school, anything big since I can’t predict what will happen and for the first time in my life my anxiety, paranoia, and everything else I do to freak myself out when it comes to things like this isn’t unfounded. There are so many things that can happen, so many ways this can all play out which will destroy my future, my family, and me as a whole. And I have no idea what to do with that.
I will be honest, I’ve said that a lot this, and I commented on this in the beginning, but I overthink things, always focusing on the worst possible outcomes, always expecting those. With this I cause myself so much stress and anxiety worrying about things I can only try my best on or are completely out of my control, constantly waiting for the shoe to drop or my fears to be confirmed. They aren’t always unfounded, there have been struggles, things that have gone wrong, but there were always options for recovery, salvation, ways to lessen the blow of it all. At minimum I could hide away from the world and disappear into YouTube and Netflix and yes, despite now being twenty, Disney. I can’t do that anymore.
I tried to hold out on worrying about the Coronavirus for as long as humanly possible, but for the last month and a half it has only gotten worse. I have watched every kids’ show or movie I can stand and is on a streaming service we have. I can’t stand anything too serious. I can’t pull up YouTube without every other recommendation having to do with some aspect of what is going on right now. I cannot look at my email or school sites without something about the virus showing up. Fuck, pretty much everything new in my inbox is another closure or change with COVID-19 littering the screen. There is no escape, not even in my head. I can’t go a day without getting a news update, some coming from the weather channel app. I am scared to look at my phone sometimes God damn it. I am partly scared to talk to my family because I am spending at least an hour every day hearing even more about the new changes, the new numbers, the new ways people are being idiotic or cruel.
I know it is better to be worried and actually following recommendations and practicing social distancing, but I can’t even distract myself with school because it’s online now and I know why it has to be. It’s not better though that I am way too focused on what is and might be and will happen that I am constantly fighting back nausea and a panic and/or anxiety attack. It is not better that half the night I’m up, thinking about this year, having all of it creep into my dreams that I am so happy I don’t remember most of. It is not better that there is no safe space and it is still going to get worse before there is a fraction of a chance it will get better.
You may think I am being harsh of other people, on the government, the president, on myself: that I am blowing this all out of proportion. You may have stopped reading a long time ago. Maybe in some aspects you are right and I’ll be honest, I know how paranoid and anxious I can get about simple things, I get thinking I’m a little crazy when it comes to my personal issues. I don’t know what will happen, it might not be as bad as the worst case scenario. However, those worst case scenarios are very possible to the point where my mother (which won’t mean much to you but means the world to me) has not told me that it will all be ok. And just so you know, there has never been a time where I am like this that she has not told me that it would be ok or work itself out or that trying my best was good enough, not one. This time it’s serious and possible and it makes it so much worse.
Regardless, what I have said in my other two sections are based on fact and experience, they are true. You can still disagree, you can hate it, not want to accept any of it, it is your right, but please take some of it into account. If you get nothing else from this, please do your research, at minimum stay away from groups and other people and be safe and if you get sick stay away, because you could be saving someone’s life.
I know this is a lot, that everyone processes and deals differently. Heck, part of the way I am processing along with all of my worry is a downright idiotic annoyance with how easy teachers are making school since it is online. Though in my defense, I grew up homeschooling online and know the basics of setting up and participating in an online course.
Here are the list of resources you can check for updates, including the CDC and UK News which are less politically biased:
BBC News: https://www.bbc.com/news
World Coronavirus Stats Websites w/helpful charts/graphs: https://epidemic-stats.com/
Virus Stats w/Breakdown of States: https://www.worldometers.info/
National Public Radio Site: https://www.npr.org/
Fox News: https://www.foxnews.com/
National Associations of Realtors: https://www.nar.realtor/
Florida State University Alerts: https://alerts.fsu.edu/
Florida State University News: https://news.fsu.edu/